Saturday, August 21, 2010

Finding the Tipping Point

I've found it a couple times in the last month.
Been trying to shake the fun,
get psyched on living?

Go get yourself hit by a car!
And then hold on for everything that follows.

Anger.
Panic.
Weightlessness,
Pain.
Panic.
Anger.
Pissed.
Disbelief.
Pissed! Pissed! Pissed!
Adrenaline.
Relief (kind of).
Stress.

And reality doesn't settle in for hours.
Then things start swelling.
The pain sets in.
The realization that your bike is done,
almost hurts more.

But you feel like you should be happy,
happy you survived.
But you're pissed that you are now
in this situation.
And it wasn't your decision, or fault.
You find fleeting moments when you're with the kids, that you have
another day with them. You tell yourself "I will now live everyday to
it's fullest!". No wasted hours on the couch. No missed opportunities.

But the bike isn't replaced yet.
You're renting a car.
There's no idea when you'll have,
your bike.
The car is new.
It's something you wouldn't own.
Everyone likes it.
Getting around is easy.
Fifteen minutes to get to work?
No problem!
It lures you in.
The anger has temporarily passed.
You start pondering...
'maybe I should buy a car with the insurance money'
You start looking online for various forms of transportation.
A motorcycle? What kind?
A pratical sedan?
An SUV for the winter?

And then the funk returns.
More than the lazy sitting on the couch eating a whole bag of chips.
It's nearly a depression.
The internal anger towards inattentive drivers has cooled.
The need to stretch the legs
and spin the gears is gone.
New bike mags get lost on the coffee table, unread.
There's nothing.
You are, nothing.

Then I had to fill up the tank
of that lame ass car.
I looked at the pump.
F me!
I don't get reimbursed for gas.
That rental car company doesn't deserve my support.
My local bike shop?
They deserve support!

So at the end of the week,
I dropped off that car with a full tank of gas, and walked away.

And went to my local shop to rent a bike.
I feel ALOT better about submitting that bill to the insurance company!
You're inattentive driver can support me and the local bike shop.