weekend wierdness

First off.
If it's nice, I'm PROBABLY working.
On my day off, it rains.
I know everyone was out this weekend,
gotta get those miles in. I know.
I'll save my disdain for rides out in the country
for another post.

This particular weekend just accumulated
into random wierdness.
Each day as I ride hme I think about what to post,
thinking anyone actually reads this.
But lately life or that beast known as
BIKE MONTH,
has consumed all of my time.
And the next thing you know,
no posts for a week.....
so here's your weekend review:

THE UPS MAN HATES ME.
I have a habit of inserting foot in mouth.
So when the man in brown stops by
and makes some joke about how he may have the swine flu,
you can't open that door without me making
some observation about his resemblance to pigs.
I mean, I left his mom out of it.
He got out easy. Still he's mad.
Called for backup.
Told them I've never seen so much brown circling,
since that morning after Beer & Taco Hell,
funny, it smelled the same too....
man, he hates me.


Craigs List Killer.
And four degrees of separation.
So the kid that rides this bike
has a roommate.
Big deal.
But his roommate used to be roommates
with the Boston nut job,
Craigs List Killer.
But he didn't really hang out with the guy.
Still the Today show interviewed him,
along with a host of other shows,
he spent the whole morning drinking,
doesn't remember what he said,
didn't matter.
They edited the interview to sound like
they were best friends.
Awesome. Gotta turn of that 'news'.


THE WINNING PROGRAM!
I'm inadvertantly training for the Commuter Contest
in two weeks by rock/rub/runnin the cross knobbies.
Actually for the life of me I couldn't get my tires,
any of them,
to properly seat on my Mavics.
I had THE WORST hop on both wheels.
Spent hours mounting tires,
finally broke down and went to the local shop.
Nothing like being told:
'to take off your panties & air them up'.
Twenty extra pounds of pressure = fixed.
Man, that pink might actually be making me a little soft.
That or the pizza/beer/ice cream diet I've been able
to maintain for the last couple of weeks.
My Spinergys threw a spoke,
and I'm SURE it has NOTHING to do with my diet,
or lack thereof.
So lazy me, I'll just ride the knobbies,
then the day before, I'll frantically
try to mount the slicks,
I won't get the pressure,
so I'll race with hopping wheels.
Because I AM that guy.
Hoping to set class records for oldest and heaviest.
(that's pizza in the wrapper,
and a race to get home before there's grease in the bag).


LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF LIFE.
Nothing for ya here.
Just a rainbow on the way home.
Oh! And people coming through when you think
'this sucks, why bother?'.
So I went to put the deposit down on the theatre,
and I all of a sudden:
couldn't get the theatre size discussed,
only one about half the size,
which means half the people.
And I couldn't get the time discussed,
I could have too early for some,
or too late for most.
And I'm standing there with cash in hand,
looking like a kid who's gone to pick up
his prom date,
and she's left with someone else.

Well, the OTHER theatre came through!
With a lower price, which guarentees no
money out of MY pocket,
and the bicycle coalition may ACTUALLY
make some money? Sweet!
AND we get TWO show times for the lower price!
I was stressing on that one.
Now it's just getting the flyers out!
The next peron who complains about the
'lack of a scene' is gonna get the Breaking Away
pump through the front wheel from me.
This shit is a pain.
Enjoy your rainbow.