Thursday, July 16, 2009

cops and fireworks!

normally that title would warrant you a good story.
sorry, but not today.
just an example of everyday for me.

so it's the day before the 4th of July.
and I'm on a quest,
a quest for fireworks.
This also lets me ride around the city,
with no particular time limit.
I'll make it sound like like a chore -
but we know better.

So the other day while riding around,
I noticed several firework stands.
ok, alot of them.

So after thirty minutes of tooling around,
and finding three empty stands, I figure
maybe they stop selling on the 3rd.
So on my way down from Columbia Heights,
near the Capital (where I'll flat in ten minutes)
I spot a group (4-6) cops talking to two ladies.

Now I'm smart enough to look for handcuffs out,
guns drawn, etc. The guy with the braids and the minibike cop
are just talking. The others are several feet away hanging out.
So I roll up.
Wait for their conversation to slow, and they notice me.

braids 'yes?'

'sorry,but I'm not from here. did they stop selling fireworks?
my kids (ME!) want some fireworks, and every stand is closed'

minibike 'do you see lights flashing?'

'yes'

minibike 'does there look like there's something going on here?!?!'

'sorry, thought you guys were just setting up barricades'

minibike 'you don't just walk up and say 'I have a question'!'

minibike then storms off to his minibike.

braids 'sorry, he's an asshole'

'yeah, I'ld say so, seams a little mad there'

braids 'no, he's always an asshole, don't mind him.'
'you can buy fireworks until the 5th, there's the spot on 50'

'yeah, thanks. enjoy your friend there.'



well, I've officially covered DC by bike,
changed the mandatory flat tire for the day,
now I'm back in the 'hood,
and it's finally getting hot...
oh yeah, no water bottle.
dumbass.
Finally fireworks!


well, I'm sure you won't mind a bike, if you get a sale.
I suck!
Same problem as when you go grocery shopping when you're hungry.
I'll take five of those, andthose, and that, and a bunch of those...
As I cash out, the phone rings (time to come home)
Nope but close, 'on your way home pick up two bottles of wine'
yeah, but I'm in the 'hood. So that means I need to ride some more,
you know, to find a NICE wine shop.


I can pack cars and bags like McGuyver can make bombs with paperclips.
Actually packing cars comes with the basic Dad Package.
Dad strength.
Nacho and pancake making abilities.
Able to fix anything real half-assed.

$80 of fireworks.
two bottles of wine.
tubes/wrenches/mini pump
three cameras and four lenses
awesome

have a nice day Mr. minibike cop.
I did.

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